DANCING WITH WORDS…

Writers are sometimes strange, often introspective, frequently emotional, always (hopefully) highly imaginative, commonly impetuous, and every now and again unpredictable. Writers: those people who burn with desire to dance with words.

I’ve been dancing for a long time. For many many years. Writing has been for me a long and passionate love affair. At nine years old, I would creep to that dark corner of the dining room on the second floor of the three-storey walk-up where my family lived. There I would nestle in the attached seat of a 1950s wood and cast-iron school desk my Nana had given us years before, a small desk that my father had crammed into the out-of-the-way corner of the room, between the end of my mother’s immense dark oak buffet and the old cast iron radiator near the wall. In that corner was a narrow window which looked out on the murky shadows that fell between our house and the one standing six feet away, blocking the light. Through that window, I could just see a patch of azure sky above, and hear the muffled squeak of chains grinding on metal as the children down the block swung on the old lumbering swing set in the park. And there I would sit, writing away, loving it more than the swings–more, even, at that moment (and at most moments) than whatever had caused the giggling at the park.

At fourteen, I was still finding secluded little nooks where I could sit with pencil and notepad, listening to the rain, smelling the tangy wet air, and writing writing writing.

When I was fifteen, my mom and dad went out and found me a hunkin’ old manual Royal typewriter. That grey metal behemoth was the most treasured gift I had ever received at that point in my life (the Easy Bake Oven when I was six was pretty good too), and never once did they complain when, long after they had gone to bed at night, the floor shook with the vibration caused by the tips of my fingers crashing down hard on those old springy keys as the typewriter rested precariously on an old card table in my bedroom.

I still find in the act of writing a contentment and release that few other activities have ever offered. Yes, of course, there is the love I feel for the man who makes me whole, who brings me joy by his very presence in my life: the man whose voice lifts me, the man who can look into my eyes and make the world around me vanish, the man I know as deeply and as intimately as I know myself. For him I have an indescribable love, in him I feel an indescribable contentment. There are children too, children whom I have held in the night, and sung to; children who used to lay in their beds, falling into dreams as they listened to me read The Wind in the Willows from the shadowy hall. These are the children I rocked, the children I bandaged and kissed. These are the children who are no longer helpless, but for whom I still hold a fierce love that steps way over the border of impartial judgement and calm consideration. But writing? Writing is something that was always there, inside me from the beginning. That thing which drove me before the others came along. That thing which defined me before the words “loving wife” and “devoted mother” ever became words to describe me.

Certainly, I have loved spending hours reading books on the “do’s and don’t’s” of remedial correctness. After all, spelling and grammar must be learned (now more than ever in this text-happy world); vocabulary, composition theory, syntax—all these aspects of speaking and writing words need learning, discussion, practice, constructive critiquing. But if words are to be spoken and written in ways which make us feel, then we must dance with words, and allow our children to dance with them too. It is error to say that there are no rules to language except those the writer makes for himself, but it is also error to always harp on every misplaced comma.

There are times to draw grammar trees and define imperative and interrogative sentences, but there are also times when we must simply enjoy the flow of words, revel in the sounds of words, feel the meter without having to name it or dissect it. There are times when we must dance.

Jean Foster Akin

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